I don't know! You guys are the experts! Sheesh.Please note that every person’s experience of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is different. When I tell my psychologist, she asks me if I have an idea where it comes from (particular stresses I'm under). Unfortunately, when I tell my psychiatrist, she just ups my meds or prescribes more. Sometimes it's not even an actual thought - it's just this impulse. Standing on the pier overlooking rough waves - just climb over and jump. Pour our too many pills when refilling my weekly pill case? Eh, just swallow them. It seems like any time I'm in a position of potential danger, these thoughts come in my head. It's totally unwanted, and I'm afraid some day that I'll act on one of these thoughts. Or I'll be driving on the freeway, and this thought about letting my car veer into the overpass pylon comes popping in. I DON'T want to kill myself, but I'll be walking down the street and see a bus coming, and suddenly have the urge to step off the sidewalk and in front of the bus. Uh, yeah? Except I don't say that out loud. I get asked all the time if I'm thinking about hurting myself or others. Also I really don't want to do any of the things I think about but the more I am creeped out by my mind the more I obsess over my thoughts etc and I am actually afraid that at some point in the future I will actually do these things just to stop my brain from obsessing about them. It's rarely ever about someone I do actually dislike in reality. It mainly seems to be about people I really like though, like my friends or boyfriend or cat. It's not some kind of suicidal ideation either more like "I could break up with my boyfriend just to hurt him", I could snap my kitten's neck", "I want to humiliate this person so bad", etc. But I have just straight up weird stuff going through my mind. And it's not the regular "I could jump off this bridge, but I won't" or "I could drop this baby but I won't", because that's pretty normal stuff to think, apparently our brain produce these thoughts to "check" our conscience from time to time. The older I get, the weirder thoughts I get. So does anybody else suffer from extremely intrusive thoughts? I saw a post here about it some time ago but it didn't have many comments so I thought I'd give it another shot. Please refrain from submitting memes, images, comics, social media/Reddit/texting screenshots, songs, and music videos - They belong here: /r/BPDMemes Related Subreddits:
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